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grayestofghostsI don’t usually like New Year’s resolutions, but I’ve maybe been convinced to do a few things that are unlikely to actually get done.
1. Draw blorbos. Fill up a sketchbook of blorbos (this is a specific sketchbook, which has 60 pages). Aside from feeling like I can’t draw whenever I try to draw, there’s also the weird shame that prevents me from being able to draw things I just like… I’ve always been envious of those twitter artists who could just churn out picture after picture of blorbo so maybe by the end of the year I will no longer have said mental block and be able to draw my own old man yaoi.
2. Read 10 novels. More than last year for sure but not a ridiculous amount, pretty doable.
3. Actually use the planner, stickers, post cards, etc.
4. I deleted twitter from my phone. Not really a New Year’s resolution, as in I’m not going to consider myself to be a failure if I put it back. But right now it’s gone.
Not a part of the resolutions but I am also thinking of building the website, Rebranding™️ and etc… I am thinking of maybe making a gallery of liminal space images on Neocities. That’s something I don’t need to feel like I’m totally competent at to begin with, at least.
Anyway. Yesterday I went to get a massage and it was different than usual. Most of the time there are only a couple spots that are a bit painful, and I grin and bear it, but this time much more was painful, to the point that I even flinched away. I had been seeing the same guy a few times and I asked him what seemed different this time, and he said that I seemed more present this time. So I guess this is what you get for being mentally present, huh, you regain the ability to feel pain. I still felt better afterward, but even a few hours after and even now over a day later I am trying to keep my body from re-tensing up and I feel like I’m mostly failing. It’s hard to tell exactly what’s wrong, or how to fix it, alas.
1. Draw blorbos. Fill up a sketchbook of blorbos (this is a specific sketchbook, which has 60 pages). Aside from feeling like I can’t draw whenever I try to draw, there’s also the weird shame that prevents me from being able to draw things I just like… I’ve always been envious of those twitter artists who could just churn out picture after picture of blorbo so maybe by the end of the year I will no longer have said mental block and be able to draw my own old man yaoi.
2. Read 10 novels. More than last year for sure but not a ridiculous amount, pretty doable.
3. Actually use the planner, stickers, post cards, etc.
4. I deleted twitter from my phone. Not really a New Year’s resolution, as in I’m not going to consider myself to be a failure if I put it back. But right now it’s gone.
Not a part of the resolutions but I am also thinking of building the website, Rebranding™️ and etc… I am thinking of maybe making a gallery of liminal space images on Neocities. That’s something I don’t need to feel like I’m totally competent at to begin with, at least.
Anyway. Yesterday I went to get a massage and it was different than usual. Most of the time there are only a couple spots that are a bit painful, and I grin and bear it, but this time much more was painful, to the point that I even flinched away. I had been seeing the same guy a few times and I asked him what seemed different this time, and he said that I seemed more present this time. So I guess this is what you get for being mentally present, huh, you regain the ability to feel pain. I still felt better afterward, but even a few hours after and even now over a day later I am trying to keep my body from re-tensing up and I feel like I’m mostly failing. It’s hard to tell exactly what’s wrong, or how to fix it, alas.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-03 12:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-03 03:46 am (UTC)I am mostly just copying other fanart right now. I hope I am learning something. Kind of scary that I might just have nothing but forcing myself to do figure drawing wasn’t getting me anywhere.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-03 08:37 am (UTC)