The Male Hysteric

So I am doing things little by little to stay sane. I've started I guess a zine library now by trying to keep all my zines in one place, a magazine holder on my bookshelf



The big copies are Better Homes And Dykes if you're interested, though I got these locally. I was intending to do this for a while and finally got my ass up to do it because I went to the library to get some seeds and they were giving out some free zines with the seeds and I picked up this one.



I honestly did not know that preserving tomato seeds was so involved.

Other than that -- I printed out more digital knitting patterns to add to the binder, and am actually backing up my computer after way too goddamn long without a backup. Take this as a sign to back up your fucking computer.

I will not apologize to my own blog for not updating. I will not, I will not...

Anyway. Currently cupbearer twinks is off and science fiction dissociative issues story is back on. Please do not ask my logic of how I decide what projects to work on. I don't know. I have diagnosed ADHD.

I've also been looking more on neocities and retro web stuff. I have also become a bit more involved in mastodon. I am thinking I need to get into RSS somehow to keep my sanity as Twitter continues to deteriorate. It LOOKED LIKE as of December 2022 Dreamwidth was looking at becoming compatible with ActivityPub, which would mean that people would be able to subscribe to my DW on their mastodon feeds if they wanted to, which would have been VERY exciting and would probably lead to me posting here a lot more... but alas, I have no idea what DW staff are up to and they seem to implement features very slowly -- this feature was first recommended all the way back in 2018 and they were hemming and hawing about privacy features but I'm guessing Twitter blowing up kind of put a fire under them with this. I still do not know if it will ever be implemented though, or if it is, if it will happen in a timely manner. Crossing my fingers.

I am still looking into using neocities to create a more permanent home for some of my writing (primarily essays at this point) rather than just blog updates. However building a static site, though they're quite stable, is a significant time investment and it would mean having to differentiate between what I want to post where, which is difficult enough given how diffuse social media networks etc are. But still, there's something about having control. However, looking into it, I am getting seriously sidetracked by all the shiny things. Like oh, I need a good layout, do you remember tile backgrounds? I need to design a button! What about a guest book? etc. It probably doesn't help that I am getting weirdly heavy nostalgia looking at all these sites because of how much making stuff like this was my pretty early childhood (like, legit, elementary school. I had a weird childhood). The concept of smol web is so fascinating. There are so many complex retro websites designed by teenagers who weren't even alive when this stuff was the norm. I don't know. It's a lot.

I do want a lightweight web presence that I can call my own (even if it's on neocities, static pages are pretty transferable). I WILL get it working eventually. Maybe. I don't know.

For better or worse I have been getting into enneagram stuff. I am a 5, apparently, if that's not obvious from this blog. There is a lot of, uh, what I can best describe as processing going on in my life right now and this helps, maybe. Some. It's confusing. Every time I think I've figured it out it keeps pulling me back in, you know.

In the meantime I am looking for a new job and looking to move to a safer state. Even if this is constantly occupying my mind, I don't really want to talk about it, unless you can actually hook me up with remote SQL jobs. Then please contact me.