A Thought

[grayestofghosts]

I am starting to have the thought of how through childhood and adolescence my One Emotional Outlet was writing online, and how when I was like 13-14 I went onto writing forums and immediately got like the shit kicked out of me for having feelings. The apparent wisdom in these places was "oh we have to be harsh because it's the only way people actually get better" but also... it was very, very unnecessary, and I don't think I learned anything except that nobody would ever really want to read my work. And I'm 31 and still iffy on self-expression. It was super unnecessary.

I don't really want to place blame for my stunted emotional development on randos on the internet but they really didn't help and I mean that was all I had when everything else had already failed. So... shrug.